It has been far to long since my last post. 2013 by far has been the hardest year on record for me personally. After the birth of my baby in March it just took so much to get back into my groove. Its been 9 months and there has been so much happening around here that there was no room for blogging, showers or any organization for that matter. I like many others have used the New Year as a fresh start. I have many goals for this year like getting back to pre baby weight, a very exciting move to the pacific northwest, homeschooling my oldest while we transition, part time college and being sane! I am incredibly excited about our move, the final destination is Portland, OR or the surrounding areas. My husband was finally accepted to get into P.A school in Portland and the move will take place in March 2014. I hope I can document my journeys and if anyone has any good advice I would love to hear it. 
Mom, Wife and Student
Picture courtesy of http://www.readcwbooks.com
I had spoken in my other post about motherhood often and most of the time when feeling a bit overwhelmed, I guess its my release. I don’t always shed the greatest light on that part of my life because it can be hard, but it has the greatest rewards. See I did things backwards according to society, I had my children and went to school, it was just the way it worked itself out for me.
I have been going to school for 4 years off and on only taking part time classes. I am coming up to a fork on the road, I either decide to be a nurse or take on my new discovery and love sociology.I am about to complete an associates degree in science and now have to choose the career that will help me reach my ultimate goal. I have learned to love learning like I never though I would. It is addictive like coffee, I want to learn everyday all day.
I think I finally decided on my major, I truly want to study sociology with a minor in psychology. I took a sociology class this summer semester and completely felt at home and wanted to learn more. Now nursing is a secure and well paying option but that is not how me and my husband live. I believe that with a degree like this I can learn more about the people and find a way to help others because that is what I love. See me and my hubby have this fairytale dream of helping the world and that we will be able to make a difference in someones life. I think anyone can accomplish helping others without a degree but with one I can get into bigger organizations to make a bigger impact.
Have a Happy Sunday-Dream Big!
Sunflower Madness
In spring me and the hubby did some planting. We decided to try just give everything a try, we planted tomatoes, basil, lemon basil, jalapenos, carrots, squash,cucumbers and sunflowers. I had never planted sunflowers before and I have to say it was one of the easiest germination. The sunflowers were very hardy and just grew, some were at least 8 feet tall. They are so beautiful to look at I wish I would have planted more.
This picture was just so beautiful, nature working together.
Planted the sunflowers all along the fence, my neighbor said she was eager to see them bloom.
1st World Problems
I visited my “mental” doctor yesterday, as I sat there while she asked how my medication worked I explained to her that it had a weird side effect. She gave me Ativan the last time I was there for occasional anxiety. When there was a pause in our conversation I thought, do people in 3rd world countries have these problems. I mean do they have therapist, psychologist why do I have one? She recommended a different medication gave me a prescription and that was it.
My anxiety has always flared up after the birth of my children, but this time I don’t want daily long term medication so I just need something for the occasional times. But what am I so scared of or worried about? I myself don’t understand. Why was my brain wired this way? why are me and millions of other people on happy medication?
I think that in developed countries the survival needs have been met. I myself am surrounded by everything I could ever need and more. I have never ever starved, I’ve had food and shelter my entire life. People in third world countries in my opinion should be the ones who would be this stressed out, depressed or anxious, they are the ones who actually are suffering. These people don’t have time to think about how they feel because they are too busy trying to find food for their children or rebuild a home that has been destroyed. Do we have too much time to think? In developed nations we focus on our happiness as priority we are very egocentric. As I sit here writing this, I am 4 months deprived of sleep because of my new baby and at times I feel “depressed” but the reality is that I have everything I could ever ask for and my babies don’t go to bed hungry or cold. In the mornings I try and remind myself of the wonderful things I have its the only way to stop the selfishness. Being mindfull helps me snap out of my 1st world problems. I am not saying that we should never complain but at times we need to remember all the people and things we have surrounding us. It might just turn your mood around (especially after a cup of coffee 🙂 ).
Hello again
I seem to be stuck in my writing as of lately. Sometimes I am unsure of the things I want to write on here. I vowed to be original because I feel this space allows for that but I have second thoughts about my writings at times because I think it will uninteresting. I guess I am more interested of what my fellow bloggers will think or how many followers I have impressed. No longer will that be the case. I will write the way I intended to, to keep track of what new adventures, troubles and life moments I can record. I love to write, I love the motivation it gives to do new things. 
Great cookbook
Found this awesome cookbook at my local library. I am not a vegetarian but this book has great small meals with easy ingredients. I dislike it when recipes are too complicated. Almost if not all recipes have a picture! They are also flavor’s from around the world. I am definitely buying myself a hard copy;)
Guided Meditation
Found this online, I am going to try an do this every morning.. I really liked it thought I would share 🙂
Loosing my Identity
I can’t begin to stress how much I love being a mother… with that being said I can move on to the hard part, admitting I loose my identity every single time. I have become “mommy” to the fullest extent of the word, sometimes I even feel like I look it. Its very hard to explain but at 26 I don’t want to look like “mommy”. I am still in my pregnancy clothes, I don’t fit into my normal clothes, I throw my hair up every single day because sometimes I rather spend my time catching up on something around the house and I paint my nails but they end up getting destroyed in like a day or two. I feel at a greater loss when I think about the place I was when I started this blog. I felt at peace and very much in the moment. I have not even had any opportunity to give any thought into any subject, no time for meditation, exercise and even healthy eating. I know this will pass and its a season, probably looking back at this post I will wish I didn’t wish that time went quick since my babies are small but motherhood can be hard at times and like any other hard moment in life we don’t find as much joy. I have to be creative and think of fun ways I can be me again. Writing this right now has made that more clear. I am currently enrolled in school part time and have found that to be really helpful I get to identify with the student in me. Well we will see where this leads me I am sure it will bring more things for me to write about which is why I started blogging in the first place…MOTIVATION 🙂
Great Day to Everyone!!
Any moms out there that feel this way??? and any recommendations?
A New Age or Just Me
Picture from http://www.empowernetwork.com
When I first started this blog I was at the beginning of a new stage in my life. I named this blog a Journey to Becoming because I feel I am constantly learning many new things and therefore becoming more of everything that I am. I am not sure if it is just me or if we are entering a new age of positive regression ( as I refer to it, not an actual term). Positive regression in my mind means having something that is somewhat “grand” and feeling like you are happier with something more minimal and less complicated than “grand”. I am not sure if you know what I mean but for me it was when I realized I had too much and I was living in what society considered perfect. More things do not equal more happiness and I have learned that this past year, it has truly been an awakening experience.
Talking to other people and reading things online I have seen that we want our lives to be more simple less complicated and happier. It might not be all people but I certainly see a trend, organic food, recycling, urban farming, minimalism. All things that may make us healthier and feel happier. There is nothing better for me than spending an hour or two outside working on my little vegetable garden, I never lived on a farm or had any exposure to this prior but it feels so natural and it makes me feel great. I have also seen that there has been a re evaluation in how important money is. Yes we want to make enough money to live comfortably but we also know the more we work the less time we have to spend with our families and just enjoy life. There is a balance in all of this, I don’t believe we should become lazy bums but also working should not take 90% of our precious time.
It could be just me but I am really loving this new way of thinking. If it did catch on I think we would be less greedy and more compassionate and loving as a society . The simpler we become the more room we have to focus on people around us 🙂
a journey to becoming 
You must be logged in to post a comment.